Feelings Are Fatal

By: Abigail Guerrero

View all Abigail Guerrero's works

For context: This is part of a chapter pulled from my potential book, titled Feelings Are Fatal. It’s a sci-fi novel that takes place in the 2050’s, for which androids, cyborgs, and anything futuristic you can think of exists. In this particular novel, it’s narrated by main character and cyborg, Soleil Amana, who was invented by self-taught engineer, Felicity Stone—in a small hut in a forest. Soleil wants nothing more than to know what the outside world is like, and to her advantage, other cyborgs had escaped their warehouse right before they could finish their updated software download, so they only know human history up to the 2000’s. Soleil takes this chance to help these lost cyborgs, and she leads to meet two of the “fugitive” cyborgs who escaped, Trinity Thane and Anakin Caddel. What Soleil didn’t know was that cyborgs were being destroyed in the city of Berxley—which was the only city they knew—and they were being destroyed by a secret organization, due to the fact that people residing in Berxley were manipulated into believing that cyborgs were a danger to society—and they were looking for the owners of the stolen factory these cyborgs escaped from. 

Chapter 35

The moment replayed in my head over and over, and yet, I couldn’t process it.

My eyes flickered open. I immediately started to look around, taking in my surroundings. I sat on a hammock, surrounded by tools and tons of wire. I knew where I was, but confused as to how I arrived here. 

“I’m glad you’re already up and so vigilant, Soleil.”

I turned to my right, immediately recognizing the feminine voice. Felicity. She grabbed a screwdriver from her toolbox, and it looked as though she was walking in slow motion. Her once luscious brown hair now looked brittle and listless, and was filthy with oil and dirt. With all things considered, she was eerily calm. Most likely not to attract attention.  

“Did you save the others as well?” I managed to ask, hopeful for good news. Felicity turned to face me, her facial expression stone cold. She didn’t respond, and simply walked up to me, placing her hand on my neck. She knew exactly who I was addressing to by ‘others’. “Felicity, please answer me.” I was desperate. She opened the port in my neck, inserting the screwdriver. 

In an austere tone, Felicity finally responded.“You know what you saw, Soleil. You didn’t malfunction before the explosion.” She spun the screwdriver, tightening a screw. “Although, you did save a necklace and busted chip.” 

I quickly searched through the camera footage and files saved in my system. I did know what I saw, but there was no way I could accept it. My best friends–the only friends outside of this forest and Felicity–gone. How would anybody be able to accept that? I couldn’t even wrap my head around the fact that I was feeling this so deeply. I’m made up of wires and metal. What was happening?

Felicity stepped back, her glare piercing through my soul–well, my body. She was upset. How could I blame her? I disobeyed her direct order, got myself and others hurt, and could’ve gotten her kicked out of the only home she knows–this very hut in this very forest. Her parents couldn’t know about this–about me

“I’m sorry Felicity,” I started. “You have to understand that I had to help Trinity and Anakin! If you saw the warehouse and the way all those androids were being treated, you’d understand!”

“No, Soleil!” Felicity yelled, hanging her head low. “I could’ve lost you. You’re the only person I have here, and you’re also the best thing I’ve ever created.”

The cold look in her eyes diminished and dissolved into sadness and heartbreak, welling up with tears. I wanted to get up and hug her. Or maybe say something that could ease her pain. Yet, I was also hurt, and I didn’t know how to deal with it. As I sat searching through my system, I couldn’t help but wish it was me who was left behind in that burning factory, or was the one torn to bits and pieces. 

I paused at a file, seeing glimpses of fire, and hearing shrill screams. Prior to the three of us entering the warehouse, Alita Villareal–who is now identified as Trinity’s inventor–was trying to hold her back from leaving the warehouse. I thought I was the only one who managed to escape the warehouse, but a flash of red appeared at the corner of the screen, and I realized that wasn’t true. Alita escaped. Her ginger beer hair was present in the recording my system saved–except this was after the explosion. 

For as long as Alita is alive, cyborgs are always going to be in some sort of danger. I’m always going to be in some sort of danger. Felicity is always going to be in some sort of danger.

Additionally, something in me knows that I would never be able to confront Alita ever again. 


I quickly whipped my head around at the sound of Felicity’s voice, the footage dissolving from my vision. Her tone was still harsh.

“It’s too dangerous for you to step out again like this again.” She was frantically digging through her toolbox again. “Almost everyone in that city knows what you look like and who you are, and there’s no doubt that they’re looking for you.” Looking for me meant looking for Felicity, which also meant exposing her parents and their home. 

“What should I do?” Was there anything I could do? I’m the one who caused this problem. I do have to remember that I’m not really a person though, so was I really capable of helping? Having a faulty personality chip and a human-like body won’t be what gets me out of this situation this time.

“Nothing. You have to stay here until I can get new parts and blueprints.” I looked at her, confused. New parts? Blueprints? She quickly picked up her hair with a stick she grabbed from the ground, and popped a fresh blueberry into her mouth. 

This may be off-topic, but I’ve always admired Felicity. She always moves so swiftly, and always knows what to do under-pressure. Living off of only what she finds in this forest has never been an obstacle to her, it’s always been more of an advantage. 

“I’m going to rebuild you, Soleil.”

I flinched, quickly snapping out of my trance in shock. “What do you mean?”

“I need to create a new design for you with new parts, find a way to somehow advance your fighting abilities, and of course, give you a new look.” She didn’t falter with her words, and nothing on her face said anything about hesitating on this decision. 

“You don’t have enough parts to even go through with that decision, Felicity! Don’t you think you should maybe take a minute to think about this?” I didn’t want to be rebuilt. I’ve already made memories with this system, and I didn’t know if Felicity would be kind enough to let me keep those memories. 

“The decision is final. Contact Akari for me, and ask if it’s possible for her to get new parts as soon as possible. Tell her I’ll send specific details soon.” She paused for  just a second, her big, hazel eyes making direct contact with my cloudy blue eyes. She sensed my sadness, like I sensed her fear. “It’s not a bad thing to be rebuilt,” she said reassuringly. Her demeanor had softened, as well as her tone. “I’ve always said that if there’s an event where I have to leave you behind, I want to make sure you’re left behind for my future sibling. I want my future sibling to have a piece of me, but also have a companion they can count on. If I rebuild you and update you, you’ll be that and so much more.”

Felicity’s always wanted a sibling, and she wanted to make sure I was perfect for this future sibling. She fears she won’t be around long enough to see this sibling, which was the initial reason why she built me. It was also partially the reason why she got into engineering.

“I know, Feli,” I started, reaching my hand out to her. She took it, holding our interlocked hands to her chest. “Is it possible for you to at least keep my memory card intact? I know it’s a lot to ask for, but I don’t want to forget these cyborgs. It’s possible I could help them in the future.”

She sharply inhaled, closing her eyes as she exhaled. “I can’t promise that I’ll let you keep every single one of those memories, since that’s a huge risk to take, but I can promise that you won’t forget about Trinity and Anakin. They meant a lot to you.”

I excitedly hopped off the hammock, tightly wrapping my arms around Felicty. “Thank you.” Felicity buried her head into the crook of my neck, allowing herself to be embraced.

To be continued…

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